Los Angeles V. New York: Driving Edition

So, in a (not findable on line as far as i can tell) article from Los Angeles Magazine a few years, we discovered that the PhD traffic pattern studying guys at UC Berkeley had taken a long look at many different urban traffic systems. they'd discovered that LA drivers could drive, on average, 20 MPH faster in full traffic than any other drivers they studied. LA drivers have actually adapted to their conditions and, in a funny way, evolved to deal with them.

Now i'm in NYC. i'm staying on what is probably one of the loudest corners in the universe, near both a major hospital (sirens from ambulances), a fire station (ditto), a boombox bass cranked up collection (seriously), and, of course, regular NY drivers. A regular NY driver hits his or her horn at any and all provocations. This Onion article pretty much nails what is wrong with this perfectly. i've watched a guy lay on his horn in the west village while a cab wouldn't go for some crazy reason. could it be someone else was backing up and the cab had to wait? why yes, of course that was it. but asshole guy still laid on the horn, despite the fact that tons of young children surrounded his car on all sides. when i pointed out that he might want to wait for the cab to be able to move...well, you know how that goes with New Yorkers.

Motherfucking ass-stain cum gargler!!!!

now little violet can say it too! awesome! and the cabs, when someone is getting dropped off or picked up and the cab dares to not drive off and crush them, well that's worth everyone honking, even though this goes on every day all the time and everyone knows it. getting in the far left or right lane on an avenue means this WILL happen. doesn't matter. gotta honk.

NY drivers: you suck at driving. you suck at figuring out how to avoid these situations. you misunderstand them and behave with total insanity about them. then you make fun of LA.

so i say to all of you what i said to him:

eat me, taint clown