Thursday, August 03, 2006

from Rob Schneider

[reprinted without permission of either variety or rob schneider, FYI]

I, Rob Schneider, a l/2 Jew, pledge from this day forth to never
work with Me1 Gibson-actor-director-producer-and anti-Semite.
Even if Mr. Gibson offered me the lead role in “Passion of the Christ 2”,
I, like Bernie Brillstein, would have to say “NO!" Even if Me1 had a juicy voice-
over role in his new flick “Apocalypto” andI spoke ancient Mayan, I, like
Bernie Brillstein would still have to say “NO!”
Even if “Apocalypto”is a gigantic smash and Mr. Gibson is quietly forgiven
by Hollywood’s Power Brokers, and I was offered a lead role opposite Me1
Gibson’s Father, (the Mad Max of Holocaust deniers) I, like Bernie Brillstein would likely have to say "NO!"
Even though I have just completed principal photography on my directorial debut in my upcoming motion picture "Big Stan" (A Prison Comedy) in which there is a Nazi gang leader, which apparently Mel would be PERRRR-FECT for, and I had a Time Machine and could go back in time and RE-CAST the lead Nazi, I, like Bernie Brillstein would most likely have to say “NO !
Of course that would be only after i talked with my financial backers,
some of whom share Mr. Gibson's hankering for a good bottle of Tequila.

Because, after all...

I don't get to call all the shots.

Sincerely Yours,

Rob Schneider

P.S. You won’t see ME at Taverna Tony’s in Malibu anytime soon!

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